Saturday, May 24, 2008

The Confidence To Make You A Good Lover

by: John Alanis

Today I want to cover what I call "foundational stuff"... skills everyone knows you should have that are necessary, but are often overlooked in favor of "more advanced" skills. The truth is though, the "advanced skills" are worthless without a firm foundation, and if you're not getting the results you want, it's often because your foundation has eroded.

Everyone knows women "love a confident man", when it comes to good lovers. But, what specifically does "confidence" mean? Few people really know, even though they like to throw the word around. For instance, I appeared on a national radio program Saturday night, and one of the hosts kept saying, "oh you're just talking about being confident." Well, yes and no. See, there are several components to "confidence" and few people know what they really are. So, since I'm such a generous guy, I figured I'd tell you today!

Confidence to me, means a strong self image coupled with "preparedness." Both of these are important, because both can be created formulaically. "Confidence" by itself cannot be created, but once broken down into its components, the components can be created and strung together to create the emotional state known as confidence.

I can't teach you to be confident. But I can sure teach you how to build a strong self image, and how to be prepared.

If you want to know where most guys fall down with women, it's the "preparedness" part. Why? Because it requires time, energy, and effort. It requires you to invest in your education, to take risks and spend money on information, like th information at It requires you to use and implement this information, and to correct any implementation mistakes. Most guys are not willing to pay this price... much easier to spend their time talking and drinking beer with other guys who are talking and drinking beer.

Preparedness is hard... but when you're prepared you get results. I've seen confident guy after confident guy get shot down in flames by a beautiful woman who was initially attracted to him simply because he wasn't prepared to create a powerful feeling of attraction in her. He said or did something that flipped off the attraction triggers, and off she went with him never knowing why. It's not enough to have a strong self image... you have to be prepared as well. Only when you combine the two will you have true confidence.